


In which Kaede Akamatsu learns that her familiar is the worst

by zesteria



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Gen, No Spoilers, THIS IS SELF-INDULGENT, Witch AU, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9827615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zesteria/pseuds/zesteria
Summary: Kaede's familiar doesn't let her have nice things.Even the aesthetically pleasing organized chaos of her coffee table





	

**Author's Note:**

> So! I haven't written anything other than essays in like 4 years??? So yeah sorry  
> and it might be ooc but too late
> 
> *also ao3's format is hell*

In hindsight, it really was your own fault for leaving your coffee table so cluttered.

Your cat strides proudly on the wreckage she wrought, joined by ceramic fragments, coffee spills, and stained music sheets. You sigh and go to pick her up, causing an annoyed hiss from the white demon you call a familiar. You carry her to the bathroom and close the door, effectively cutting her off from causing anymore despair to your home.

You head back to the living room and glance forlornly towards your once organized chaos of a coffee table before going off in search of a mop. You find your phone before you find any mop (you don’t know if you even _have_ one) and shoot Shuuichi a quick text explaining your misery. You look around your kitchen and decide that paper towels work just as well as any mop. You grab the roll and wish there was a spell for automatically cleaning up messes.

You first pick up your hard work that is now permanently stained and sopping wet from coffee and stack it neatly to the side. You mop up the spills soaking your floor, then pick up large fragments of ceramic. You dump the wet paper towels and ceramic in the trash and grab a broom to clean up what’s left.

After cleaning up the disaster caused by your familiar, your phone buzzes with a new text.

 

 **Shuuichi:** oh no :( how bad is the wreckage

 **Kaede:** not too bad all things considered??? I mean it def couldve been worse

 **Shuuichi** : well thats good at least

 

You set your phone aside and grab the stack of music sheets. For the most part they are still wet and the ink is smudged but not completely beyond saving. You consider the best way to go about saving your hours of work, and come up with a solution to just put it in the microwave.

_Microwaves have heat, and heat dries paper and other things._

Confident in your reasoning you place some sheets in the microwave and set it for 30 seconds. You whisper a quick spell just in case, though.

30 seconds later you pull the paper out of the microwave and assess the damage. The paper is warped quite a bit, but still somewhat legible and you figure you can read it enough to copy the notes on a new sheet later. You stick the rest in the microwave and let it run. After you grab all your sheets you carry and set them on top of your piano next to your crystals and will them to keep everything clean (and possibly stop your cat from being so destructive, but you know better.)

You look at the sigils inscribed on your piano and run your finger over them. You inscribed these when you first got this piano, about 11 years ago, with knifes you found in your kitchen. Your parents definitely didn’t approve of your witchcraft but you were 9, and you believed full heartedly in protecting your house from evil with your music.

You also got your demon familiar then, but that isn’t the point.

After two years of college you dropped out and became a fulltime pianist and composer, writing songs for protection, love, success, etc. You _were_ working on writing a song for protection before The Incident of The Coffee Table, but thankfully you had enough sense to do that somewhere else than in the radius of destruction. You think that you might be getting too salty about the whole thing, but you had an aesthetic with that table dammit, and now it’s ruined.

Turning your attention back your work, you try to continue the song you were playing. You stare at the keys for a few minutes before slamming your hands down on them and deciding to just start over. You hit a few notes, only to get stuck again a moment later and you decide that writing spells now isn’t gonna work.

You go back to the bathroom where your demon awaits and listen to her annoyed meowing from the other side of the door. She sticks her paws out from under the door and pat the ground, looking for your feet to maul. You lightly kick the door with your foot to get her to back up and pause before opening it. She tries to immediately dash out but you grab her by her dumb, soft, kitty belly and pick her up. This cause several hisses and attack attempts to your face, and you ignore that and lay a kiss to her head.

“Stop being a menace, Arpeggio,” you will and set her back on the ground. She flicks her tail in response and goes to find her food bowl.

You follow her to the kitchen and grab a grape fanta from the fridge. Ouma brought a bunch the last time he stayed and you figured you might as well drink them.

 

However much you don’t like him.

 

Though really, you dislike him because Arpeggio treats him like a god and constantly purrs when he’s over.

But you aren’t salty.

Not at all.

 

You take your drink and walk past the traitor munching away at her food and sit down on the couch. You open it as you look around at the various sigils covering the walls and focus on the portrait of Bach hanging on the wall opposite you. You figure that staring at one of your role models will help inspire inspiration and miss the soft-landing sound of your cat on the table. You sigh and glance over at your cat and realize that she is sitting right next to your open fanta bottle.

Your absolute demon from the depths of hell watches you, then with a grin to rival the Cheshire Cat’s, then knocks the bottle from the table onto the ground.

 

You decide you absolutely loath Ouma for fanta ever existing and your cat loving him more than you.

 

You also wish you could’ve gotten a better familiar.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for giving this a shot!  
> I am a greenwitch and always a slut for witch aus so here I am
> 
> has this been done before?  
> probably  
> do I care?  
> nope
> 
> Have a nice day!


End file.
